![]() I may not be able to make an argument for this exception, but it’s just common sense. I stop her from doing these things even though it may not be in compliance with my idea of how a PA should act. My boss Anna loves to play with leaves, so she rips them off plants and she also will knock over any glasses or cups that are near her (I don’t know why). I’ll confess, in my job I sometimes break this rule. Being a PA to a disabled person is no different. If you were a personal assistant to a businessman, a politician, or a Lady Who Lunches, you’d help them do what they wanted to do. Being a direct support worker is a position of service, not authority. It’s particularly striking with the age discrepancy, but it’s never appropriate. If I never hear another 30-year-old staff telling their 60-year-old client what they should be talking about, doing, buying, or eating, it will be too soon. Telling your boss how to live their life. ![]() I once heard a new staff say to her client, “Do you need help in the bathroom? I wouldn’t be a very nice friend if I forgot to ask that!” It would be a totally normal question if she said “good staff person” instead of “nice friend” but as it is-well, that’s a very weird definition of friendship!Ĥ. This also leads to some truly ridiculous sentences. Would the world implode if you said, “I’m Andre’s new aide and these are the times I work for him?” It’s not shameful that Andre has a support worker and besides, it’s obvious you work for him, so why not just say it instead of talking around it? “I’m Andre’s new friend! We hang out from 8 am to 8 pm on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays!” Well, that’s a pretty strict schedule for two friends to “hang out,” especially if they just met each other. ![]() It’s fine not to want an extra-work relationship, but you are not friends if you don’t treat your client like you treat your other friends.ģ. A friend doesn’t abruptly disappear if they leave their job-they tell you they’re leaving and still make time to see you! Staff I know who are actually friends with their client still visit and meet up with them if they leave their job, because they enjoy their company. (I don’t remember who said this but if you did, stand up and be credited!)Ī friend comes to your birthday party even if they are not scheduled to work for you. Once when I was talking about this on Facebook, someone described how people they knew had staff who presented as friends and who the client saw as friends, and how hurtful it was for the client when the “friends” would suddenly disappear from their life. Acting like a friend/family member when you don’t see yourself that way. You are an assistant, unless the client shows or tells you that they want a more personal relationship.Ģ. Acting like a friend/family member when the client doesn’t see you that way. Here are what I see as some common pitfalls of support work, where workers don’t view the relationship appropriately:ġ. ![]() A friend or family relationship with a boss should never supersede the fact that they are your boss. However, despite feeling like Anna is my sister, I still see her as my boss first when I am on the clock. Several years ago I would have thought this was politically incorrect, but oh well-here we are! We have spent most of our time together for more than four years, and to me it just seems appropriate to use these words. My boss is a twentysomething severely disabled girl who I consider my best friend and sister. Either way, it should be based on the preferences of the client and the worker, not an abstract idea of what their relationship should be. People have different preferences about how professional a relationship they want to have with their staff and for some people, it just makes sense that if you spend so much time with someone, you will be genuine friends. Sometimes a client obviously saw me as a friend and I felt the same, and it would be weird to insist otherwise. This concept not only was alienating to me, but it just didn’t fit with how my jobs were. A worker should just be like a robot that brushes your teeth, puts your shoes on, and transfers you from stair lift to wheelchair. At one point, I was steeped in a certain view of support which was that it was totally inappropriate for support workers and their bosses to be close friends. It’s important to keep in mind that there isn’t one way to be a support worker. I think direct support work should be viewed as assisting a person who is your boss, not taking care of someone passive. My job title is Personal Assistant, which I like. To people not involved in Disability World, I often describe my job by saying, “I take care of someone who is disabled.” I don’t really like to say this, but not everyone is coming from the same place and understands the same language. I am a direct support worker, although there are many words for what I do.
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